No Place Like London
by With-the-Wolves
Summary: Pauline makes Halt go to a barber. Please Read & Review!


It was a cloudy day in London when Pauline made Halt go to a barber. A very cloudy day. One might even say that it was a shadowy day. A _foreshadowy_ day.

Now, Halt didn't really want to go to a barber because that would mean walking who-knows-how-far to some strange location to let some get near his neck with a sharp razor. It was not an appealing situation for Halt.

But Pauline insisted and told him that she wouldn't marry a man with an unkempt beard.

And so Halt went.

He stopped at the very first shop that he came to, which was a rather small room above a meat pie emporium.

"Gilan, do you know where Halt is?" Will asked Gilan. The two were sitting on the wet sidewalk outside of Halt and Pauline's house. No one seemed to be home.

"If I knew where he was, do you think we'd still be sitting here in the rain?" Gilan said.

"Well…Probably not." Will responded. "But where could they be?"

"I don't know. They're getting married soon, so I expect maybe it has something to do with that."

Will nodded. "Gilan…Why are we still sitting out here in the rain?"

Gilan looked at Will. "Because…No one's home…We can't go in unless someone's home…" Gilan hadn't thought that Will was that dumb.

"No, I mean…Why don't we just go into a shop or something?" Will asked. "Most of them are open."

Gilan looked around. "Yep…Okay, which shop should we go into?"

Will considered for a while.

"Never mind we'll go into that one." Gilan said, gesturing to a meat pie shop across the street. "I've heard that their meat pies are fantastic, plus we can watch for them through that big window."

"Good idea." Will said.

"Will? Gilan?" The two rangers heard someone shout above the pounding rain. They turned in the direction of the shouting to see a very wet Pauline running toward them.

Pauline arrived next to them and quickly unlocked the door, waved the two inside, and began questioning them.

"Have either of you heard from Halt recently?"

"Not for a few days." Will said.

"Same." Gilan said.

Pauline sighed. "I don't know where he could be…I sent him out a few days ago, told him to go to a barber, get his hair cut neatly. I haven't seen him since."

Will and Gilan looked at each other. It wasn't like Halt to just randomly disappear…

"We can help you find him, Pauline." Will offered. "I mean, we might not exactly find him, but we can help."

Pauline nodded. "Better wait until this rain stops, though. Now that I think of it, Halt could have just gotten stuck somewhere. This rain is very heavy, after all."

Gilan and Will nodded, but they both knew that it wasn't like Halt to get held up by something as little as rain.

When the rain stopped, Gilan and Will began their search for Halt.

"Okay so...Where should we start?" Will asked.

"Well…" Gilan said, pulling out his iPhone, "Halt would probably have gone to the nearest barber. Which is…" Gilan typed something into the smartphone, then looked in the direction of the meat pie shop. "Right there."

"I think your little technology might be broken. That is a meat pie shop, not a…Oh, hey, there's a shop up there!" Will said. "Okay, you can go investigate now."

"What?" Gilan said.

"You can go investigate now." Will said.

"Yeah. And while I'm investigating, what are you gonna do?"

"Well, you know. I was thinking that I'd just hang out, maybe get a meat pie…"

"No. You're coming up there with me." Gilan said.

"No…I don't think that's such a good idea, I mean…Whoever runs the shop could be some creepy serial killer guy who kills people." Will said.

Gilan stared at Will. "Well, I don't think that…" Gilan quickly consulted his iPhone. "Mr. Sweeney Todd is a serial killer who kills people."

"Gilan, I just can't go up there. I mean, who knows what I'll do?"

"What are you even talking about, Will?" Gilan asked.

"Well, you know how some people are afraid of spiders or open spaces?" Will asked. "I'm afraid of barbers."

Gilan shook his head and started walking up the stairs. "Will, come on."

"I can't. I'm one of those people who lash out when something scares them. Do you want me to get sued or have a restraining order?" Will said.

Gilan turned around to stare at Will. "Yes. Now come on."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Will, if you don't come up here, I'll tell Halt that you are afraid of barbers and do you know what will happen then?"

Will thought about it for a moment, then started slowly making his way up the stairs.

When they entered the little shop, Will started freaking out, although not in the way that Gilan had predicted.

"Oh my gosh, it's Johnny Depp! Gilan! That's Johnny Depp!" Will shouted. Loudly. Really loudly.

"Will, it's not Johnny Depp." Gilan said. Repeatedly.

"Yes it is, Gilan, it's Johnny Depp!"

"No it isn't. Calm down."

"How can I calm down, Gilan? I'm in the presence of Johnny Depp!"

"Well, for one thing, you're making a fool of yourself and Johnny Depp doesn't like people who are fools."

"How can you know that, Gilan?" Will said, but he stopped freaking out after that. Although he did start vibrating, which slightly worried Gilan.

Gilan asked the man that Will apparently though was Johnny Depp if he had seen anyone who happened to be short with a greyish beard.

"I haven't." He said simply, and when back to sharpening a razor. And humming.

"Oh, okay." Gilan said.

" ?' Will asked. "Can I have your autograph?"

The man ignored Will.

"Well, that was unhelpful." Gilan said as they walked down the stairs.

"I met Johnny Depp!" Will said. "Wait until Horace hears about this!"

Gilan looked at Will and sighed. "I'm sure he'll be extremely jealous."

They decided to get a couple of meat pies before they continued on their search.

The pies were delicious.


End file.
